I Didn't Know

So tonight was small group night and I realized that I haven't been real with myself, or others for the past couple months and even worse I didn't realize I was doing it and that it was eating me inside. Tonight, God brought me to a place of humility and authenticity I haven't felt in a long time. I have a tendency to get in the habit of keeping my problems to myself and trusting that God will take care of them. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with trusting God with your troubles but their is also a place for fellowship and prayer in helping you through your problems and denying  yourself and others of that is a huge mistake. So tonight one of our friends felt a strong need for our group to come together in prayer and fellowship and share any burdens or praises we had laid on our hearts. "Easy" I thought,  I just needed to really listen to others share and remember to pray for them this week. WRONG. As people started sharing I felt this huge need to share something too. What was it? Then something came to mind. "No" I thought; that's nothing big and I trust that God will take care of it so I don't need to share that, do I? My heart felt heavier, and heavier with each beat. Finally after struggling with the holy spirit in my rebellion I finally gave in. And as I shared my burden, I began to get really emotional. I didn't even know this problem had dug such a deep whole in my heart that I'd react this way because of it. It felt so much better to be able to be in that place again were I can be real with others and share and relate with people who need my support and I there's. I missed that feeling of humility and even though I hate crying in front of people, there is a sense I comfort I feel through it. Comfort that people, other than my family and husband, care for each other and long for relationships outside their own family. Relationships through God our Father. Those relationships are some I treasure, desire and need to walk though life and with God. 

Thank you God for bringing us to this awesome group of people we can call family. Thank you for giving us opportunities to love on each other through You and share our struggles and praises with each other. Thank you for always knowing what we need and providing us with the things we need to be closer to You. Thank you for these blessings and thank you for loving us even through our flaws. I ask that you continue to reveal yourself through these relationships and give us the tools we need to lift each other up.